Throughout high school and college people often have come to me for advice.
I had friends come to me for relationship advice. I had them come to me about family issues. Schools problems. Friendships gone awry. I had a few that were suffering with anorexia and suicidal thoughts themselves. I was always willing to stay up with them, all night if need be, to talk to them and listen to them about what was going on. I never wanted anyone to suffer through the pain of being alone like I had all too often felt.
I cant say that I gave great advice all the time. I am not a therapist or a doctor so I in no way had any evidence based advice to give. But I gave out some pretty sound, logical advice. Advice that I should probably listen to myself every once in a while!
So why is it that when someone comes to us asking for advice, it is so easy for us to tell them what the right thing to do is, but when we are in that situation, we cannot seem to listen to our own advice that we once gave?
When someone else wants to die, to kill themselves – the obvious answer is — No way! You shouldn’t die You have so much to live for. That would hurt your friends and family so much.
But when you want to kill yourself — the obvious answer in your head is — What is wrong with killing myself? No one will care. I don’t have anything to live for. I am just a burden to everyone around me.
Sometimes, when we are struggling with something. We need to step back and think about what would we say about it if our best friend, our brother, or our sister was saying that. What would we tell them. And not just make excuses about it then, not say well that doesn’t apply to me though because … But listen to what we would tell them and listen to that advice! We need to listen to our own advice!
When it comes down to it, “You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?” Can you listen to your own advice?