Dissociation and Staying in the Here and Now.

Dissociation.  It sucks.  It has been happening to me a lot I guess.

My anxiety medication was making things worse for me, so I was taken off of it.  But while I was on it, my dissociation was even worse than before.  But even off of it, I still dissociate. It is completely frustrating

So, some of you might not even know what dissociation is. 

Dissociation – It can be mild detachment from immediate surroundings to more severe detachment from physical and emotional experience.

It does not necessarily mean you have Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly Multiple Personality Disorder).  Dissociation can simply mean you , somewhat zone out, detach yourself from what is around you, go off into your own world so you do not think what your mind wants you to think or feel. 

Dealing with my past history of abuse has been incredibly hard.  Thinking of that, the sexual abuse, the rape, everything – it has just made me incredibly anxious and depressed and quite honestly, the suicidal ideations have been running rampant in my head. 

Sometimes, I don’t even have to be thinking about any of it, and suddenly a memory will just pop into my brain and trigger me and I either have a flashback, a panic attack, or completely dissociate.  During therapy, the dissociation has happened more frequently.  It is really frustrating.  Sometimes I come out of it and just want to cry.  I feel horrible.  I don’t want to talk at all. 

It is really hard to deal with.  Staying in the here and now – I guess I just have to keep learning how to do that.  I guess I need to practice using my grounding techniques more frequently when my anxiety is high and the dissociation occurs.  As my therapist says, she is there to help me through it when it happens in her office, but when she is not around, I have to learn how to do it on my own. 

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5 thoughts on “Dissociation and Staying in the Here and Now.”

  1. I’m new to your blog, so don’t know everything you’ve experienced, but have you heard of cognitive behavioral therapy (mindfulness)? I have PTSD, PNES, anxiety, depression, disassociation, and a bagful of tricks. My state could, and did often the first few years, put in me in a seizure.and then I had a stay at Stanford year last. There they taught me about mindfulness (CBT) and I continue to do it now. I’ve only had two seizures in the last six months. Used to have them 5-6 times a day. I had tics, tremors, stuttered, and whatnot from sensory and emotional overload. I found it to be of great use in addition to talk therapy, psychiatrist and peer-to-peer groups. Not easy, but it really did (and does) help me. .

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  2. Yes I have some done some CBT while inpatient at acute care and schema therapy in the state hospital. I still try to use both daily but it is hard sometimes. I am in trauma therapy right now which is really the reason for most of my issues as it is bringing up all sorts of memories that I have never dealt with

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  3. Oh, the brain and what it shows us when it thinks we can handle it. My seizures are born from trauma and not the currents in the brain. The flashbacks started last year and woohowdy, they are something. Do you have any tracking of time? I’ve lost that since 2010.

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