Humans of New York – via Facebook

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“I went to the beach because I thought it’d be a good place to die. I felt mad hopeless. I didn’t ear or drink for three days. Every time I fell asleep, I hoped th at I wouldn’t wake up. I thought I’d die after two or three days. But after three days, I was like ‘Fuck, I’m not dead.’ So I walked into a hospital and said I needed help.”

Passing the Pain to someone Else

So true. As much as I think about doing it myself, I have felt the pain of losing someone myself

I've seen flowers and razors in her hair.

Suicide doesn’t get rid of the pain, it gives it to someone else.

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Daily Post – Ice Kacang — Who Would of Thought?

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(found on http://www.foodily.com)

Word Press – Post A Day -Bacon and chocolate, caramel and cheddar… Is there an unorthodox food pairing you really enjoy? Share with us the weirdest combo you’re willing to admit that you like — and how you discovered it.

 

Ok Ok, so I thought about this…. and  my first one wasn’t exactly well thought out- there actually was one food that I had that was absolutely completely bizarre to me.  BUT, it is a staple dessert in Malaysia!

I went to Malaysia for the month of March.   I have never been there before and it was absolutely amazing.

There is a dessert called – Ice Kacang!  Also known as ABC in some areas.

This dessert has an assortment of things in it – nothing that I would ever imagine putting in a dessert!  But everyone there seems to love it.

So the ingredients are:

  • Crushed Ice
  • Coconut Sugar
  • Brown Sugar
  • Condensed Milk
  • Canned Red Beans
  • Cream Style Sweat Corn
  • Grass Jelly Pieces
  • Attap Chee (Palm Nuts) – optional
  • ice cream – optional

Now, I would never think of eating a dessert like this.  It just seems like a weird combination to put together.  Corn with shaved ice?  Red Beans with shaved ice?  And those Jelly pieces — they looked like worms to me.  But, I guess you never know what something is going to taste like unless you try it!

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(found on – http://www.photoblog.com/chanchiewsoo/2008/09/22/durian-abc.html)

So, again, I would say — never judge a book by it’s cover.

PTSD…It’s a normal reaction

 

PTSD is a normal reaction to extreme trauma.

Just like bleeding is normal reaction to being stabbed.

 

Daily Prompt – Don’t Judge a Book By it’s Cover

Word Press Post A Day – Bacon and chocolate, caramel and cheddar… Is there an unorthodox food pairing you really enjoy? Share with us the weirdest combo you’re willing to admit that you like — and how you discovered it.

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover…..we are told this over and over again growing up.

Honestly, I can’t say that I really have any weird food combinations.  I like ranch dressing on things – french-fries, to dip my pizza in sometimes.  I like pancake syrup on more than pancakes like I’m ok with it getting on my eggs or bacon.  But I don’t think that’s weird — is it?  I’ve seen others do these things anyway.

But….I had a roommate in college, she had an interesting combination.  Perhaps it isn’t weird to others, but to me, it was a brand new combination!  Caramel dip and French fries!  In the dining court, we had the caramel dip for the apples…and of course French fries — she would put the two together! I was introduced to this concept on my second week of school while eating with her and some other friends.  I tried it once, it was definitely not my cup of tea (I am not sure it was any of my friends either).   It sound similar to milk shakes and French fries I guess, which is much more common and I have tried and is much more enjoyable for me – but it is a completely difference consistency and to me definitely did not taste the same at all.

I’m not really in to trying new things, so I was pretty proud that I even forced myself in to trying this crazy concoction that my roommate had devised.  Although, I wish I would have known that this one odd thing was just a preface to a whole semester of craziness and disagreements— a semester of us not getting along, a semester of arguments – because she wanted to go to bed at 8am but be awake at 3am, she wanted to change her sheets in the middle of the nights for no reason except cleaning seemed to be better at that time, she thought loose cheerios and underwear were appropriately placed on the desk (including mine), and the playstation 2 must be angled at a specific direction with the cords not wrapped around the controllers – a semester of mediations with the RA (luckily my RA was definitely on my side), a semester of mediations with the RLM (he was less biased, blah), and finally — thank goodness! – me getting to move out of that ridiculous situation!

Odd choices don’t always lead to odd people, but sometimes, just sometimes they do!

Why did you leave me?

Why did you leave?  Why did you leave me?  What did I do?

Oftentimes, I feel like I have lost everyone.  It seems like everyone around me is just gone.  My friends, my family, even strangers seem to turn their heads the other direction.

I know this isn’t always true though.  I have had people stick by me.  I have had great friends.  I have found lots of support when I have told my closest friends about having bipolar, PTSD, and borderline personality disorder.

I did lose friends too though.  They would say they supported me.  They understood.  They would be there for me, hang out with me, but they were distant.  Soon enough, they were gone.  I know living with someone with mental illness isn’t easy.  I wasn’t living with these people though.  I know being friends with someone with mental illness isn’t easy either.  The problem was – I was the same person I was before I had told them — nothing had changed about me, my behavior hadn’t drastically changed over night, I didn’t suddenly start calling them all the time to vent about my problems, I simply let them know that I had mental health problems.

I guess I did expect support – but I wasn’t outright asking for it at that point.  I wasn’t calling.  I wasn’t crying to them.  I wasn’t divulging my problems on them.  So why did they leave me?

I will never know for sure why people leave.  Of course, there is the stigma.  There is just the fact that people might feel pressured or be scared.  I don’t carry a grudge against any of them.  I just feel sad.  I feel sad that I lost friendships that I truly enjoyed.  People that I liked to be around, people that I thought I would still be talking to today and in 20 years — we no longer talk.   It sucks.  Plain and simple – it sucks.

It isn’t always easy to be friends with someone who has mental illness, but it is possible.  In fact, we are really good friends, we add a lot to friendships.  We are extremely empathetic because we know what pain is like.  We tend to be good listeners because we know how important it is to be listened to.  For the same reason, we are there for others when they need help, even when we feel like the world is crashing on us because of our own problems.  And yes, I know we can be difficult at times, but there are some things you can do to help us too and there is a tip on there that will make your life easier (hint – boundaries!), which I wrote about here.

There are people that won’t leave though.  There are people that are here for me and will be there for you too.  There are people that care and listen and pay attention.  There are people that I have known since I was 5, that I didn’t talk to thought out high school and much of college – but then we got back in touch – and now, we talk again.  They accept me!  They are ok with me having problems.

Those are the people I want.  I want someone who is ok with me being me.  I want someone who will be there for me.  Someone who will support me.  I understand that perhaps the people who left me felt uncomfortable or pressured or didn’t know what to do or say.  I don’t think it is necessarily excuse – I think talking to me and educating themselves or something would be better, but I understand.  I miss those that left, but I am thankful for those that have stuck with me.