Category Archives: humor

Kill the Elves!

Word Press Post a Day – A misused word, a misremembered song lyric, a cream pie that just happened to be there: tell us about a time you (or someone else) said or did something unintentionally funny.

I just said something unintentionally the other day that was extremely funny!  Or I should say I typed something — or my phone autocorrected it and I was not paying attention…something you should never do.  Never ever reply to a post on here and not pay attention to what your phone autocorrects!

I was replying to a post on Hope’s blog – she usually writes about mental health issues, which is something I am very passionate about.  Her post is here if you wish to read it.  Anyway, so I was commenting back – and there has been a lot of discussion since Robin Williams suicide about if suicide is selfish or not.  There are lots of different opinions about this – I understand that.  Mine personally, coming from someone who has mental illness and knows how it affects you, that it is a disease that takes over me and I don’t really know what I am doing, that I don’t understand what I am doing, and that it completely distorts my thinking, and for a wide variety of other reasons — is that it is not selfish.  I am really not wanting to get into a debate about this on here though.

However, my comment meant to say –

“…… And I don’t think anyone who kills themselves is selfish. I got into an argument with a friends friend on facebook about this the other day. It created some lively discussion to say the least!”

However, what ended up being said, thanks to the wonderful technology of autocorrect on my phone, which I failed to pay attention to was,

“……And I don’t think anyone who kills the elves is selfish. I got into an argument with a friends friend on facebook about this the other day. It created some lively discussion to say the least!”

Needless to say, apparently, deep down inside, I don’t think killing the elves is very selfish either!  I guess I have a subconscious dislike for elves.  They must not have built enough toys for me as a kid or my toys must have always broke because they weren’t built correctly – I’m not really sure.

So, feel free to kill the elves, I will not think you are selfish!

 

However, to be serious here —while I do not think it is selfish to commit suicide, that does not mean that I think you should do it.  So if you are depressed and struggling with suicidal thoughts or any other mental health issues – please reach out for help.  Talk to your doctor, a family member, or friend.  If you are in the US you can also call the suicide crisis line at:

1-800-273-8255

or go to:

www.crisischat.org

www.IMAlive.org

 

If you live internationally, you can find help and resources for numbers to call here or here.

Stay safe!

If I Wrote a Book…

Word Press Post A Day – A literary-minded witch gives you a choice: with a flick of the wand, you can become either an obscure novelist whose work will be admired and studied by a select few for decades, or a popular paperback author whose books give pleasure to millions. Which do you choose?

I would absolutely love for people to just be obsessed with my book so much that they just study it for decades.  However,  if I wrote a book I would want it to be interesting – I would it to grab peoples attention, to let them escape the world or educate them, preferably both.

Actually I have an idea for a book, but I do not have the concentration to actually sit down and focus on it at this point.  If anyone has read my previous posts, my blog focuses on mental health issues for the most part — or the majority posts—- or all of my posts with the exception of basically one.

If I wrote a book, I would want it to be about mental health, because there is such a stigma about it.  I wouldn’t want it to just reach out to those that have it though.  I would want it to educate everyone – those that have it, those that done, cats, dogs, birds, fish, whoever wants to read it, bite it, scratch it, peck on it, hmm maybe fish can’t swim on it.  It wouldn’t make fun of mental illness, that is not something one should make fun of, but mental illness is something that you can still have fun with.  There are funny things, funny stories that people can tell, we are still people with funny lives because of our mental illness.  Combining our mental illness to educated others with the good things we have done, how we overcame our challenges, showing our funny side, perhaps showing our challenges while using humor, those are the things I would want to do.

It would be a best seller – all around the world.  Written in so many languages – because lets be honest, mental illness affects everyone.  Not just poor people, not just brown haired people, or rich people, or Hispanics, or white people, or purple haired people, or people that drink Pepsi instead of Coke.  

I would love for a few people to become so obsessed the read my book for decades, and if that happens to occur with this one, that would be awesome!  But most importantly, I want my book to be enjoyed by everyone – to educate everyone about the stigmas of mental illness – for people to be able to escape into humor and the lives of those that live with mental illness so they can see we are people just them.

Annoying Things People Say

Not exactly related to my normal mental health posts — but completely funny and spot on with my thoughts! Humor is healthy!!

The Art of Getting By.

1. ‘It is what it is.’ Whoa. Wait.. Really?

2. ‘No offence but…’ Aka prepare to be insulted

3. (Similarly…) ‘I’m not racist but…’

4.  ‘Give it 110%’ Not a thing. It’s percent for a reason. PerCENT

5. ‘Totes’ WHY?!

6. ‘Money can’t buy happiness’ Maybe not literally but I’m quite sure I’d be happier with a Porsche and a massive house in tow.

7. ‘Do you want me to be honest with you?’ Actually, no. Today, I’d like it if you point blank lied to my face. Yes, you idiot.

8. ‘Good things come to those who wait’ No, no they don’t. Get off your ass and work hard for what you want.

9. ‘Where did you last have it?’ If I knew that would I really be looking for it?

10. ‘F*ck the haters’ Pretty much as bad as ‘yolo’.

11. ‘Oh, I’m so depressed’ No…

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