“I went to the beach because I thought it’d be a good place to die. I felt mad hopeless. I didn’t ear or drink for three days. Every time I fell asleep, I hoped th at I wouldn’t wake up. I thought I’d die after two or three days. But after three days, I was like ‘Fuck, I’m not dead.’ So I walked into a hospital and said I needed help.”
Not exactly related to my normal mental health posts — but completely funny and spot on with my thoughts! Humor is healthy!!
1. ‘It is what it is.’ Whoa. Wait.. Really?
2. ‘No offence but…’ Aka prepare to be insulted
3. (Similarly…) ‘I’m not racist but…’
4. ‘Give it 110%’ Not a thing. It’s percent for a reason. PerCENT.
5. ‘Totes’ WHY?!
6. ‘Money can’t buy happiness’ Maybe not literally but I’m quite sure I’d be happier with a Porsche and a massive house in tow.
7. ‘Do you want me to be honest with you?’ Actually, no. Today, I’d like it if you point blank lied to my face. Yes, you idiot.
8. ‘Good things come to those who wait’ No, no they don’t. Get off your ass and work hard for what you want.
9. ‘Where did you last have it?’ If I knew that would I really be looking for it?
10. ‘F*ck the haters’ Pretty much as bad as ‘yolo’.
11. ‘Oh, I’m so depressed’ No…
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