This is my challenge to create a “Pros and Cons” list of my day. “Pros” are the things that I am happy for, grateful for, or things that just made me smile. “Cons” are those things that you just want to forget about because they do nothing to help with your anxiety or mood that day. I actually almost forgot to do it today until Just Plain Ol’ Vic reminded me by commenting on yesterdays post! –Thanks for the reminder!
- I got a nice sleep thanks to my Ambien. It was making my nightmares worse, so I quit taking it for a while. But I wasn’t getting any sleep so I started it again, I’ll definitely take the sleep for now, even with some nightmares.
- I got a donation to my GoFundMe account to help me pay for my grad school tuition!!! Not a big one, but every little bit counts and I am so grateful for it!
- Mrs Doubtfire is on TV right now, this very minute as I write this! It is so funny. This movie came out when I was about 7 or 8 years old — I always wanted a nanny like him! I didn’t binge watch and Robin Williams movies this week/end, but this one happened to be playing on the Hallmark Movie Channel, so I thought I would have it on in the background since it is one of my favorites.
- Figured out an old student loan from undergrad. Ugh will they ever leave me alone?!?! At least for a little while longer I suppose. “Leandro” promised me that it would be taken care of, so I expect not to get another bill from them — again.
- I took a shower! This might not seem like an accomplishment, but when I get depressed I can go days without one. I hadn’t gone days, but I had gone two I think…and it was going to go on. I stopped it though… I stopped it and jumped in and took one – a nice long hot one.
- I am trying to raise money on GoFundMe, for school but I am not really getting anywhere. I am a little bit disappointed, but I know everyone is struggling with money. Still kind of makes me feel bad though. Keeping a positive attitude that it is all going to work out.
- My apartment is kind of a mess — well it is always a mess, but I told myself it would get cleaned today and that just didn’t happen.
- Slept a lot today, just kind of felt like escaping my emotions and didn’t feel like using any of my more active coping skills.
- I ate too much 😦 Nibbling on food when I was awake — peanuts add up quickly in calories…especially when they are honey roasted peanuts. I need some cocoa roasted almonds in those 100 calorie packs!
Goal for Tomorrow:
I really hope to be more awake for tomorrow. I do not want to sleep through the day. The weather here has been horrible – pouring rain almost all day long, literally, not more than 5-10 minutes of no rain or thunder. I want to try to get out to a gym and walk or run on a treadmill a bit. Just to get my anxiety out, get some energy burnt. I want to perhaps read a bit of some of the text books I have received in regards to my future classes in grad school. I want to maybe paint a small picture.
Now out of all of that — I just want to do one. Small steps. So if I just accomplish one of those, then I will be happy!