Finding the Right Therapist

I am so incredibly thankful for my therapist.  She has really been a lifesaver.  No, I have not been incredibly open with her yet.  Bit she has stood by me.  Through my crying, dissociation, suicidal ideation, not talking, avoiding it all – she has been there.

I have told her more than I have told anyone ever before.  I haven’t told her details about anything, but I have hinted at stuff.  That is still more than I have ever said to anyone.

I have never felt comfortable with a therapist before.  Well, once before I connected with a therapist, but it was after I had just been raped, and everything was so fresh on my memory I couldn’t comprehend anything and didn’t want to deal with anything, so I just didn’t.  She was wonderful and I got along with her, but I just couldn’t talk about the hard stuff.

Now, I have another great therapist after being with a million others – and I still have a hard time opening up, but I am getting there.  She has helped me realize that I need to talk to feel better, to heal.  I am really going to try to at my next appointment.  I don’t see her until next week.  I am really going to try to write and just practice talking out loud to myself to hear it out loud.  Say it.  I want to talk about it.  I want to heal.

Having a good therapist is such an important thing.  I don’t think I would be where I am today if I didn’t have my current therapist.  I still have bad days – horrible days.  I still have been hospitalized twice in the last year.  And even though each day I waiver on how I feel about myself, at least some days, I do feel ok about who I am.  Some days, I still hate myself, but there are some days that I do feel ok about myself now.

With my previous therapists, they didn’t even touch on my trauma.  Of course, we were trying to get my bipolar under control as that was completely out of control – but they also solely kind of focused on my BPD.  I am not saying none of that was irrelevant, but I think now that I have really been working on my trauma – I have been having a better grasp on my emotions over all and being able to control things – I have been able to take better care of myself over all.

As I said, I still have really bad days.  I still have almost had to be readmitted to the hospital, even recently.  I still have the suicidal ideations.  I still get mad and blow up at people.  But compared to how I was, having my current therapist has been a godsend.

If you don’t feel like your therapist is the right fit – keep looking.  It is ok to “fire” your therapist.  They are working for you, and if they aren’t the right fit, it is ok to find another one.  I didn’t do this a lot of the time… I kept sticking it out with mine and it never helped me.  I would just go to session after session getting nothing out of it, feeling miserable.  I would give up, stop taking meds, and just get worse.  I finally had someone tell me – its ok to shop around for a therapist.  You have to find one you mesh with, someone that you clique with, someone that you feel comfortable with.  And you will know within the first 2-3 sessions.  You don’t have to go for 3 months to figure out if they are the therapist for you.  And if they are a good therapist, they aren’t going to be offended if you leave – they know that not everyone works with well with everyone.  Certain styles of therapy work with certain people.

So – don’t give up if you don’t think therapy is working.  Keep looking for a good therapist.  Keep advocating for yourself.  I used to think therapy was stupid cause no one seemed to be helpful for me.  But there is someone out there that you will get alone with and connect with – you just have to find them.

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10 thoughts on “Finding the Right Therapist”

  1. I’m so happy for you that you have a wonderful therapist. I’m still warming up to mine as I’ve only seen her twice. But so far she seems to have a lot more potential in helping me than my other therapists. She encourages me to talk and speak my mind, and as I’m talking to her I figure out my problems in my head that I couldn’t figure out myself.

    But that’s so great that you found one you love. I hope I can too!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so true! I have seen a lot of therapists, and have never had one I trusted like the one I am seeing now. It’s amazing the difference a good therapist can make. Of course, things are magically better, but I do believe they will get better one day!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am now beginning to understand how critical this is. Finding someone that, not only can you open up to, but will also tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear!

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  4. Yes Very Important! You have to be able to tell them everything, and even as you said, they have to feel comfortable being honest with you – not just telling you what you want to hear.

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  5. Yes, a good therapist makes a world of difference! I hope that the one you are seeing now continues to be the right one for you. I continue to pray the one I sees works out as well!

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  6. I found that out the first time I went to a therapist. I thought I was going to feel soooo much better about myself….yea….not!! LOL. I am still with that therapist because I know I will get it straight!

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  7. hahah well at least you hear it as it is. Some people like that. Every person likes different types of therapists, that is why there are so many different techniques out there.

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