When Life Gives You Lemons — No… no I won’t make lemonade

Word Press Post A Day –  When life gives you lemons… make something else. Tell us about a time you used an object or resolved a tricky situation in an unorthodox way.

I am sure that there are many times I have fixed things in an unorthodox way.  I was a very creative kid.  I went to Math, Science, Technology Magnet schools.  We were taught all sorts of critical thinking schools.  In nursing school you are taught critical thinking skills and to think outside of the box to help patients and solve problems.  I have had to come up with ways to fix all sorts of things with unconventional methods.

I hate the term, “When life gives you lemons just make lemonade” though!  No, when life gives you lemons you can’t always  just turn the situation around.  Sometimes life gives you lemons and it just sucks!  You have to just take it, know that it sucks, let yourself feel those emotions that it sucks, and acknowledge that it sucks.  You have a right to feel those thoughts and feelings and emotions.  Why do people always have to tell us to get over it, move on, just fix it?  I know we cannot wallow in it or ruminate on the problem or have pity party – of course not.  But what we feel is what we feel and we have the right to feel those emotions.  There is no reason that when something bad happens in our life that we should not be allowed to express that.  If something bad happens, let me feel like shit.  Stop telling me to just go make lemonade.  I don’t want to make lemonade.  I want to be pissed off for a while.  Once I work through those emotions then perhaps I would have squeezed through enough of those lemons with my anger and frustration that the lemonade will appear and I might have bought some sugar at the store to add to it.

Pushing the bad stuff that happens to me to the back of my mind and never dealing with it, just makes it come back 10x harder later on in life.  It builds up in me and eventually comes out as anger or resentment towards others.  So no, no I am not just going to make lemonade or something else when life gives me lemons.  Not right away anyway.  Perhaps you will get some lemonade over time, a cup at a time over a while.  But you aren’t going to be getting a jar of it all at once and I surely wont be setting up a lemonade stand making any money off of it.

I Can Be Sad

Saying someone can’t be sad because someone might have it worse,

is like saying someone can’t be happy because someone else might have it better.

Child Abuse – Mental Illness

There are so many different types of child abuse.  No matter what kind, they all hurt the child – they all alter the future for that child in some way.  The outlook that the child has from that point on is changed.  Any event in our lives changes the way we see the world, not just abuse, but abuse changes it in a very different way.

I was affected by various forms of abuse growing up.  The most significant form that has affected me as it was the result of many others was the sexual abuse I was subjected to from a teacher I had in 7th grade.  My whole thought process on things changed from that point forward.  Even today, I have not been able to wrap my mind on certain concepts and beliefs.  I feel like things he told me are still true – despite the fact that logically I know they are not, my mind is still trapped around the idea that they are.

Abuse warps our minds and causes us to put up protective barriers.  We shield ourselves from truths to save ourselves from feeling pain.  I did this.  I dissociated a lot.  I pretended it wasn’t real.  I did this growing up.  I did this with my teacher.  Then, I just decided to believe that what he told me was the truth.  I decided that I believed it, it was true, that if it was true then there would be no pain.  It was a survival method to keep me from suffering the immense pain that I had been suffering.

I don’t have to believe those things anymore though.  I am still learning that.  The abuse has left memories on me and I will never forget it.  I am learning to cope with it all now though.

Abuse can, and many times will, affect a child’s current and future mental health.  Depression is high in children that are experiencing abuse.  PTSD occurs frequently for those that have had some type of abuse.  Additionally, later on in life – the risk of mental illness has been found to be increased for those that have had past experiences with abuse. 

 

As I said, there are multiple types of child abuse –

ChildHelp.org lists different forms such as :

Physical abuse

Any non-accidental injury to a child. This includes hitting, kicking, slapping, shaking, burning, pinching, hair pulling, biting, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping, and paddling.

Sexual abuse

Any sexual act between an adult and child. This includes fondling, penetration, intercourse, exploitation, pornography, exhibitionism, child prostitution, group sex, oral sex, or forced observation of sexual acts.

Neglect

Failure to provide for a child’s physical needs. This includes lack of supervision, inappropriate housing or shelter, inadequate provision of food and water, inappropriate clothing for season or weather, abandonment, denial of medical care and inadequate hygiene.

Emotional abuse

Any attitude or behavior which interferes with a child’s mental health or social development. This includes yelling, screaming, name-calling, shaming, negative comparisons to others, telling them they are “bad, no good, worthless” or “a mistake.” It also includes the failure to provide the affection and support necessary for the development of a child’s emotional, social, physical and intellectual well-being. This includes ignoring, lack of appropriate physical affection (hugs), not saying “I love you,” withdrawal of attention, lack of praise and lack of positive reinforcement.

 

 

If you know of anyone that is being abuse – reach out for help.  Do not let it continue.  Report it immediately!  You can call the Child Protective Services Line (CPS, DCFS, DFCS – Different names in different states) – just call and report it!  You can remain anonymous, but sometimes it is very helpful to give your name.  Even if you suspect someone is being abuse (with a reasonable suspicion), it is better to report it than possibly ignore it and let something bad happen.

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

I have been nominated for the Sisterhood of The World Bloggers Award by both Phoenix and Finding Your Inner Happiness!  I am so incredibly grateful for this and honored to receive it.

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award recognizes women bloggers from all around the world. I like to view this award as an opportunity to acknowledge phenomenal women bloggers who blog about a variety of topics about their experiences in life – mental illness, love, friendships, feminism, or whatever is on their mind that they feel is important in our society that others can relate to today.

If you wish to accept this award, the following guidelines are below. There is no pressure to accept the award. I find your blog welcoming, genuine and sisterly.

The steps for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award are as follows:

• Thank the person who nominated you for the award!  — Thank so much Phoenix and Finding Your Inner Happiness for this wonderful Award!!!  I am truly grateful for it!!
  
• Add the Sisterhood of World Bloggers Award logo to your post and blog. — done!
• Answer 10 questions provided to you by the person who nominated you. — Done
• Provide 10 questions of your own for your nominees to answer. — Done!
• Nominate your bloggers for the award and notify them. — Ok!

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Questions for me by Phoenix:

1. What was your favorite food when you were a child?  Pizza!  In fact, I believe it still is 🙂
2. What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod or music device?  I’m not sure the most played, but I go through quite a few often – lets see: Breathe Me (Sia), Clouds (Zach Sobiech), Don’t Ask Me Why )Great Caesar), Human (Christina Perri), Hey There Delilah (Plain White T’s), Wake Me Up (Avicii)
3. What is one of your favorite quotes?  “Be who you are, say what you feel because the people who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
4. What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity? Indoor – I love painting, writing, reading.  Outdoor – I love walking or going on hikes or just sitting outside enjoying watching nature.
5. What chore do you absolutely hate doing? I hate taking laundry out of the dryer and folding it.  It will sit in the dryer until a new load has to go in.
6. What is your favorite form of exercise? Probably walking or running
7. What is your favorite month of the year? October — or any fall month, best weather ever
8. What’s your least favorite mode of transportation? … not sure.  I think at different times I like or dislike all of them.
9. What do you miss most about being a kid?  Being able to go into complete fantasy lands and escape things
10. What is your first memory of being really excited? Moving when I was 9.

Questions asked of me by Finding Your Inner Happiness:

1. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?  It would be less competitive.  People would just enjoy it and be relaxed.
2. What is your favorite way to chill out?  I’m still learning and figuring that out
3. What is your favourite food? Pizza
4. What is your favourite song? I don’t have a favorite one… I like a lot — refer to number 2 on my previous list
5. What annoys you the most?  People that ask me what I am doing in life, what I want to do in life, etc.
6. What is your favourite month? October – or any fall month
7. What is your favourite season? Fall 🙂
8. Are you religious? Kind of — I struggle with my faith
9. What star sign are you? Libra
10. What is your favourite quote? “Be who you are, say what you feel because the people who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

My Nominees:

The list below is no particular order. All of the blogs below are very inspiring and I hope they inspire you too. Please check them out and support their story!

So Illuminate Me

Wandering Through the Wilderness

Rose With Thorns

Living with Mental Disorders

Journey of Kylie

 

1. Questions for my nominations to answer:
2. What is your favorite dessert?
3. What country would you most like to visit?
4. What is something unique about you?
5. What is your favorite number?
6. If you could be any animal, what would you be?
7. What do you like to do to relax?
8. Running – love it or hate it or indifferent?
9. Is the glass half full or half empty or who cares?
10. What is your favorite food?

 

Thank you everyone for supporting my blog – I hope to continue to raise awareness about mental health, write about my journey, as well as a few random posts here and there!