PTSD-How to help

Having PTSD is really hard, and so many people do not understand what it is like – they may read about it or hear about it more because veterans are being diagnosed with it more frequently, but unless they have experienced flashbacks and panic attacks, hyper arousal and the anxiety related to it— it is hard for them to know what it is like. Multi Me wrote a great blog about some ways that you can help someone who has PTSD.

Multi-Me

If you have PTSD then you know how absolutely awful and debilitating it can be. I thought I’d write a post about the ways in which you can help someone with PTSD. Remember this is from my own perspective.

Listen, and validate the persons feelings. We all like to feel validated, it really does help.

Talk about the symptoms. Dont be afraid of them. PTSD is really scary to the person going through it.

If a person who experiences PTSD is going through a flashback, sit with them, and listen, hold their hand, soothe them.

Allow the person to express how they are feeling. Dont minimize the persons feelings or experiences as trivial.

Dont make fun of, or laugh at the persons symptoms. They are very real.

If you are staying the night with the person, and they have a nightmare, help them by getting them a cold drink, or…

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Second Opinions – Not Getting it When I Should, Getting it when I Dont Need it

Word Press Post A Day – What are some (or one) of the things about which you usually don’t trust your own judgment, and need someone’s else’s confirmation?

Second opinions and getting someone else’s confirmation.  What would “so and so tell you about that” or “why would you ask me?”  are two common statements and responses I get from people.  I either need a second opinion and didn’t know it, oops — or I want a second opinion and I guess I shouldn’t need it?

I need a second opinion on a lot of things I do, but I don’t generally get it.  Being bipolar – I can be pretty impulsive when I am manic or depressed.  I go on wild spending sprees when manic– which I could definitely have someone around to ask me – “Hey, do you really need that, are you going to have enough money in your bank account if you buy that, in fact how about you just put that down.” When I am depressed, thoughts of suicide swarm my head and for years I would just impulsively do it.  Again, having that second opinion – “Is this really what you want, what are the consequences, what if you fail and have a horrible life of pain because of how you did it, or what if you succeed and everyone around you hurts because of it?”

On the important things, I never get second opinions.  Then there is this whole thing that comes along with my borderline personality – where I can’t really decide on my identity and my social anxiety and PTSD where I always want to make people happy though.  So if someone asks me a question, I am completely indecisive.  Maybe this, maybe that —- I don’t know, what do you want, what do you think?  It’s up to you.  Please give me your opinion!  I don’t want to make the decision!  I don’t think my decision is the right one.

I think talking things through with others is a good idea.  Of course, we should be able to logically think things thought on our own in simple cases, where to eat, what to do for the day etc.  Although I even have trouble with that because of my mental health issues, but it is just something I need to work on.  But when it comes to bigger issues – not even just related to suicide or manic episodes, but anything that we don’t fully comprehend ourselves or think we logically understand but everyone around us tells us otherwise – they tell us we are doing the wrong thing – perhaps we should sit down and think about, focus on it and get that second opinion from someone, perhaps a third and fourth.

And no, just because the majority of people tell you something, it does not mean it is right for you.  For example, if you are fighting cancer and think it is time to stop, you know your body more than anyone else.  But, it also helps to get that second opinion.

I wish I would have reached out and talked to people before going out and doing my crazy impulsive behaviors related to my bipolar and I hope I do reach out the next time it happens.  So far, I have been good about doing that related to any suicidal thoughts.  I hope I can relax on being so indecisive and be more confident in my decisions so I don’t need second opinions on if I picked the right place to eat or go to etc.

 

 

 

Mindfulness

We are surrounded by different textures.  One of the principle components of mindfulness is to pay attention to things around us, focus on that – not things that worry us such as finances or school.  Just to stay in the moment.

I took a trip to Malaysia a few months ago and it is an absolutely beautiful country.  When I went, almost no one here knew were it was.  After all the publicity about the missing plane, and then the plane being shot down – it seems like everyone knows where it is.  Well, now that you all know – you should visit it!  It really is a beautiful place.

While I was there, I paid attention to everything.  I visited a multitude of places during my month there.  While on the beach though, there were all these little crabs!  I live in FL so of course I have been to the beach.  But for some reason, being on the beach there was just fun.  I saw these crabs and they were amazing.  Thousands of them!  Scurrying around – they created all these cool designs on the ground.  They were called bubbling (bubbler) crabs.  They make these little sand pellets and they usually form very cool circular shapes.  I did not get a picture of one of the designs, but I did get a picture of some of them.

Focusing on all the beauty of the area though took my mind off of any problems going through my mind.  Mindfulness is amazing when you actually use it.  Of course, they key is using it!